I'm pants shitting drunk right now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
