Old men and throwing up are my life now.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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