OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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