Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
