I will die if light touches me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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