So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
