You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
