idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
