It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize