Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize