oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we're making bets on your personal life
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
