Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
