After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
