Swine flu. Run for my life!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize