Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
