Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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