No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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