it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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