Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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