Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sarcasm needs its own font
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
