No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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