Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
