Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
