just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
