his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
