I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
how does that bad decision feel?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
