I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
