I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
