i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
