I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
