well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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