I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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