I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize