but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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