I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize