at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize