Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
