so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
