He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
