He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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