I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
