I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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