I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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