Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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