I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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