btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
