Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
be right there i have to get my cape
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
