mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
