ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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