no you cant smoke seaweed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
