in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
