he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
