I think I just saw someone hide a body.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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