literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
