if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
