Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
