after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
