I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
