apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
