smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
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He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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