but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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