I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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