Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
