You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
